A New Month

I have complete and utter writer's block today. I have in the works about 5 different drafts of posts in different stages of completion but I'm not satisfied with any of them. Thus, I felt I had to post in regards to my deficiencies as a sort of penance and ultimately a motivation for not getting it together creatively so to speak. Despite the new month, I seem to have no new thoughts.

On yet another cold January night, Mr. U had to work late. I met him downtown for a drink while he ate dinner. I still have "speaker's remorse" sometimes when we talk. Wondering what he thinks of the fact that I said this or that, worried he's going to like me less because of it. I walked him back to his office where we proceeded to make out right in front. Probably not very professional but security guard be damned I hadn't seen my man in a few days and I needed a little attention.

And then came February. Where did it come from? On the other hand, what took it so long? January seemed an endless eternity of wonderful nothingness and everything. But now its February and I think the seasonal depression is starting to kick in. The lack of sunshine, the lack of warmth. I'm sick of blowing my nose ten thousand times a day from the cold and colds. Sick of wearing a heavy coat to work and carrying an umbrella lest there's yet another bout of freezing rain.

I'm ready for light and breezes and airiness. I'm ready for what comes next. Since I don't have anything else enlightening to say I'll leave you with this quote that I've been thinking of lately, and doesn't seem wholly inappropriate for how I'm feeling about February.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin


Cheers, T.