So my last post was a little "I'm in high school and I have a crazy intense, obsessive crush on some new guy." I know. Scary. I got one comment from a reader telling me "not to get ahead of myself." And she was absolutely right. Except the truth is, I never get ahead of myself. In that, I never like anyone. Like ever. I'd rather put in the hours at work to impress my boss, go for a run, drink with friends or sleep then date. I just don't care that much. I'm the one that refuses first dates or second dates or sleeping with someone after a long time or no time because I'm just not that into them. Some friends says its because I'm still not over THE GUY and I say its because moving back to DC, starting a new job as a lawyer and creating a whole new life and making new friends and being in the same city with my parents again has been EXHAUSTING. And...while I've dated lots of guys in the last year, one guy for 3 months, even- I haven't been that crazy about anyone.
So I asked my friend D if she thought I was being too optimistic about MPC (My Potential Unicorn) and getting too excited- basically setting myself up for a major letdown. And she said: "Get excited! What's so bad about being excited? And so what if it sucks later. Let future T worry about that. Just feel good now."
Whether mentally sound advice or not, I'll take it. I haven't liked anyone in a long time. Like really really liked someone and felt they had potential. Every guy in the last year has been a placeholder; someone to fill the void for one reason or another. So when I spend one night talking to someone and then find myself weaving into the next lane on Rock Creek Parkway because my mind wandered to our NYE kiss then trust me Ive got it bad and this is a good thing for a workaholic, commitmentphobe like me. It is.
At the end of the night on NYE he told me he would call me. He did. The next day. He told me he would ask me out. And he did. We're getting drinks on Tuesday. All in all, this is a very promising start.
Which got me thinking, it's been so long since I dated a mature, adult man that I'm not sure how to do it anymore. Let's just say I hate games. Which should be a given but a lot of people like the games and the drama and the chase and being chased. I don't. I don't understand it. Maybe being in a position of power and being on an equal intellectual, financial, professional level with men in the legal arena has made it become harder and harder for me to pretend to be all coy and giggly and crap. If I agree to date you, I just want to spend time with you. See if I think you're cool and interesting. See if we get along. See if you feel the same about me. If so, great. We'll keep hanging out then till its no fun anymore.
But we have to make things so complicated don't we? For example, MPC called me at 2:15 this afternoon and left a message. I wanted to call him back right away, a No Games Girl as I am, but D and A told me to wait. So I called back at 4:30 and I left a message. Then he got back to me around 9. I would've liked to have called him back right away but of course I had to wait and now it's too late to call so I'll have to find an appropriate time tomorrow. Because you--Can't seem too desperate. Can't be too interested. Let him chase you. But the thing is, I'm not desperate. Lots of people can't be alone or lots of girls out there are dying to get married and procreate but Not.Me. And I don't want to call any guy back right away because I just have to talk to him right now or Ill die. No, instead I'm just Type A. And I'm tied to my phone. I get every phone call, text, email, tweet immediately and I make it a point to respond right away. Else my ADD brain will forget. Or Ill worry. I like to cross things off my list. Im a doer. A planner. Ugh.
If that werent enough, he suggested two different bars for drinks in Dupont this week. Neither of them really appeal to me. But am I supposed to insist he pick or pick one of his two options to be nice? Or can I honestly say, "Ooh I've been dying to try..." or "Let's go to_______, its my fave?" and then it gets me thinking what makes a better first date? Some place totally chill? One tweep suggested 15c wings at Big Hunt. Okay, so true - things absolutely definitely don't get much more casual and relaxed than that. But since we are old aquaintances meeting after years and I think I want a place that'll foster the rosy glow of old memories and a hint of a new romance and not the sight of me with ranch dressing on my chin to take its place. But then I thought, if we went somewhere too nice it might feel forced. Like we are trying too hard.
If you can't tell from the entirety of this post already, I'm nervous. Really nervous. The best I can do is just do my best to try to play it cool and not blow this thing. I promise.
But in thinking about when to call and where to meet up, something great occurred to me. This will not go badly. No matter what. It can't. It can't because I can't wait to sit down next to this person again. To just talk. About whatever. Isn't that just the best?
After all, he's a good man. I know he is. Which is why he gets to be a Unicorn. This isn't some random I met at a bar who asked for my number. This is an old aquaintance. True, maybe we were never close, but we did grow up in the same neighborhood, we've had similar upbringings and I know the kind of life and friends he's chosen for himself. I know enough. He's sweet. And kind.
So we'll have a chat. Over a cocktail. And it'll be fine.
That's the great thing about a date with a real live unicorn. Its special just to spot one. Even if you can't be with it for very long.
Wish me luck and Cheers,