Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Roommates


So... I haven't written much since I went postal on all y'all's asses last week. I don't have much to report but I thought I would try to remove the metallic taste from the mouth of the pink elephant in the room. Or something like that...

So... Let's not talk about how I'm not perfect. Or how Mr. U is or is not perfect. Let's talk about how his roomates are sooooooo not perfect. Or rather the roommate and the roommate's girlfriend. I'd love to get some independent takes to see what your thought process is on these two.

So... The roommate is Mr. U's good friend from college. They are close. The roommate's girlfriend was a good friend of Mr. U's as well and the roommate and the girlfriend met because of Mr. U. Basically all three parties are close and get along.

Here's the problem. The roommate and the girlfriend are my age. In their late twenties. But they act like horny, obnoxious teenagers. They've been dating for six months and yet they are all over each other. All. the. time. In the apartment. Out at bars in public. They just stand so close and talk so close. And baby talk almost. Like "you're so great. No, you're so great." "My girlfriend is the hottest girl ever...blah blah blah." Am I the only one who is like "ick, ick, ick. No you're so ick, no yooooooooou're so ick!" ICK. Ick?

I got really upset about it a couple of weeks ago. I went over to Mr. U's to watch the Oscars with the three of them. They were so lovey dovey all over each other that she sat on his lap in a chair with her back to me on the couch next to them. And the two of them basically ignored me all night. Even if I asked them a question or they asked me one they would get so into each other and get distracted and start talking about something else (only to each other) that they would forget they were talking to me or just stop talking to me.

It really hurt my feelings at first because I thought maybe they didn't like me. That they were good friends with Mr. U so they should want to be good friends with me. And that they weren't making an effort and it was on purpose. I was frustrated and angry and thought they were rude and inconsiderate.

But then... I saw them out at Stetson's a little while later. On the back patio portion. With about 20 of Mr. U's other friends. And they were seated next to each other. Only talking to each other. In a room full of people. In a room full of their own friends. And then they left early. It was weird. Really weird.

On the one hand, who am I to say how people should act or behave. They seem happy and SUPER happy with one another and in love and having fun. It works for them. And now I see that its not personal. They weren't ignoring me or refusing to get to know me or deciding they didn't like me. That's just who they are. So I want to not be judgmental and be understanding and let them do their thing. I mean - what other choice do I have?

Do you agree with me though? I mean is this or is this not socially inept behavior? And to some extent thoughtless, inconsiderate and rude? Who of our age can't make nicey nice and have a conversation in public or in a small group for 5 minutes or for an hour? Who are these couples who can't stop holding hands and being in each other's faces for 30 seconds long enough to take a breath and acknowledge another human being? What are they thinking (really!)? How were they raised? How do they function in society? I just. don't. get. it.

The roommates are really nice people. Interesting. Smart. Attractive. When I come over to the house or see them out they call me "Counselor," smile at me and genuinely seem happy to see me. But I don't foresee a chance of ever really getting to know them well. Because of course - that would take some effort - on their part. Kind of sad really. Hmm....

12 comments:

Maura said...

Curious if their close friends also feel that way. What does your guy think?

It's a slippery slope to close yourself off to everyone around you (if that's in fact what they're doing), especially good friends. If it doesn't work out, and you come crawling back to your friends...don't think they'll have forgotten how you vanished into the abyss of a relationship!

Anonymous said...

Could you invite her out for a one-on-one? Maybe a little convo over a mani or a drink would help you get to know her outside of her duo and then it would be easier for you later. (Or it would confirm that she is socially awkward and strange as you thought and then you can forget about it.)

Susanlee said...

I kinda get it. Yeah, it's socially inept. Yeah, it's obnoxioius. Yeah, it's rude. But there is nothing better than that early, just in love, nobody else in the whole world feeling. Give them a little more time, it'll wear off and they'll be civillized human beings again. Trust me, I've been one of those people. It's a feeling that you miss when it's gone. Desperately. Let them enjoy it as long as they can, and give it a few more months before you write them off as a freak show.

Jolene said...

um yeah, that's weird. But I wonder if they don't really realize they're even doing it. In the 'zone' or something and nobody has bothered to tip them off to the rude factor. Definitely, THEM not YOU.

J said...

Awk-ward! I'd prob be feeling more than a little put off by that too. As for the roommates, I know what is like to feel like you'll never REALLY become friends with some of the people who are close to your SO...it can be kind of a lonely feeling (and sad, as you say!) But it has to be a two way street and they have to match the effort you put forth. Maybe in time??

FoggyDew said...

Everyone has their own personal limit when it comes to PDAs. Yours - and mine - appear to be about the same. There's nothing wrong with a little smooch every once in a while to show your affection. But to be constantly attached at the hip is a whole 'nother animal. It is rude and very, very high school. Maybe the boy - since he's known them longer - can have a chat with his friend. A simple "Hey man, that's kinda rude," comment might make a world of difference.

Clicking Frogs said...

Well, can we talk about how perfect I am? No? Okay. I would also be curious as to what Mr. U thinks about it. Maybe they are weirdos or maybe they've just fallen so madly in love that they only have eyes for each other. That will probably fade, but if not, sounds like the perfect match!

Anonymous said...

"It really hurt my feelings at first because I thought maybe they didn't like me. That they were good friends with Mr. U so they should want to be good friends with me."

It sounds so fundamental and basic to like-minded people, but other people just don't see it that way. Or lack the capacity - that 'gene' - to see why getting to know you should matter at all.

Bummer that you gotta deal with that deal. Tell the Unicorn to lose the roomie already.

WashingTina said...

There are always going to be those people who don't know where the line is. Probably because everyone's line is someplace different. Sure, this isn't what you or I might do, but sadly, it IS what they do. I would say it's not a big deal, though. BUT I have been known to cut the night short when someone I'm out with is behaving that way.

berniemacx said...

It's interesting food for thought. It could be awkward if Mr. U is trying add them into more social outings but it doesn't seem like he has that sort of need. Maybe you could view them like the person at the grocery store you always see because your free time to shop coincides. Or the extras in all epic war movie battle scenes... just different setting and costumes.

Storm. Kat Storm. said...

That would bug the hell out of me, personally. I have a couple of "couple friends" like that and it's just like... you have all the time in the world to do that LATER. Pay attention to your friends.

IntrigueMe said...

I think you're on track. It's not you, it's them! lol

Six months is still new for some couples... when they lose that giggly closeness they'll either crash and burn or soar.

Just let it go for now. :)