Monday, May 9, 2011

To Date or Not to Date - Part 2

What did I decide to do? Drum roll please....

Not to Date.


Anyways, I sent the Math Teacher a text message around 2pm (about 6 hours before our date) on a Friday night stating the following: "Hey, hope you are having a great day. I hate to cancel on you late notice but I'm totally exhausted and not feeling great and so I'd rather reschedule."

What did I do instead? Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. I was completely lame. And boring. And, well, lame. I wore sweatpants, ate pasta and drank wine. I am not proud of this fact, but it is what it is. I also watched 10 episodes of a British miniseries on Netflix. Which makes me quadruple-ey lame. I know.

At any rate, I had to work again on Saturday from 9-6. I came home and did NOTHING yet again. And then Sunday I had a long day of taking care of the MOM with brunch (it was FANTASTIC at 701 outside overlooking the National Archives building and the Navy memorial equipped with fountains and a temporary ALS association art/advocacy exhibit Piece by Piece which is AMAZING!!!!) and then the National Portrait Gallery and then shopping at Macy's. (i got a bright blue dress that is killer!) But I digress...Back at work bright and early this Monday morning I still feel tired. So I think I made the right decision. If only for my physical, emotional and mental well being. I am - to say the least - worn out. Worn out because of this breakup, my job, my life, being me. Depressing no? I'm thinking of planning a ridiculously extravagant vacation for 3 months from now when this hellish project I'm currently working on is over.

Anyways, you don't care about my troubles do you? What you really want to know is - how did the Math Teacher respond? And let me tell you...he was soooooooo nice. So freaking nice.

Here's what he said: "Don't worry about it. Everyone feels bad sometime. We'll try something when you feel better and more up to it."

Soooo nice right? He proceeded to text me several times on Saturday and then most of the day on Sunday. Saturday: "How are you feeling today?" I admitted I was pretty much bumming around the house watching youtube videos and other random stuff online and catching up on The Wire from the beginning via Netflix. I mentioned the Jimmy Fallon video parodying Charlie Sheen and the Steven Colbert and Jimmy Fallon performance of "Friday." And a bunch of other stuff. And you know what he did? He watched them. Every thing I said I thought was funny - he'd go and watch it and report back. Not like that's hard or anything but - he actually listens to me- and engages. He doesn't get a medal, but he gets props. That's all I'm saying.

Sunday he was out with all our friends and they had a few too many drinks. Yet he still texted me to check in and chat every half hour or so. Finally, one of our friends got mad at him for being on his phone instead of paying attention to the group. They didn't know he was talking to me.

"So stop texting me!" I urged him. "I don't want to stop texting," he told me. "So what are you up to now?"

And its official - I'm still in love with David. This whole thing still sucks. I'm still a sad, moody, hot mess. But I also like the Math Teacher. And I also want to date him.

Unfortunately, my last minute cancellation has confused him a bit. He asked our mutual friend T (a very good girl friend of mine) to help him "figure me out." Oy vey!

But what is there to figure out? He asked me out, I went out with him. We had fun. He asked me out again, and while I did cancel (because I honestly said I didn't feel well), why can't we just go out again (rescheduled) and see what happens?

Why must we, in the beginning, know exactly what's going on, what's happening or figure someone out? Why must I be a 100% over my last boyfriend? Why must I be anything at all? Why can't I just exist and see what happens?

So there you have it friends. I like the Math Teacher. And maybe, just maybe, he likes me...even if I am quadruple lame. I guess we'll see.

Happy Monday and Cheers,


Jolene said...

Hey, it's okay to lame out sometimes!! BUT if you do still love David...maybe not the right time to date?
*cringing. don't hate me for saying that*
Just sayin...if I was still in love, I don't think I could date yet. It would be too hard NOT to compare.

Andy said...

So is this fuck obtuse or dumb or both? Figure you out? Take a wild guess and stop thinking with your god damn wick: she just broke up with her love last Tuesday, for fuck's sake! Yeah, sorry, dude, you're going to have to put a but more time in with this one.

Also, no props to him for this stock texting. This stuff is purely standard protocol.

Toddy said...

Jolene - here's the problem with that scenario...(and of course I don't hate you for saying anything)...I didn't get over my bf before David for YEARS. And therefore had a few semi-serious or not so serious relationships and a lot of bad dates during that time. Maybe no relationship would succeed because I was still hung up on the ex but how was I supposed to spend my time? my 20s? part of my youth? sad and lonely and celibate? I dont think so....

Andy- believe it or not, I think this guy actually likes me. Why wouldn't he? I'm awesome...Right? :-)

Kissing and Other Disasters said...

it is okay. sometimes you need weekends just to think, hang out with friends/mom, relax. hanging out with a boy takes to much out of you... it takes a lot of work to make yourself look "cute"
you need nights where all you do is watch netflix.

IntrigueMe said...

Did you expect to NOT be in love with David so soon? I think if you'd fallen right out of love with him then it wouldn't have really been love. Maybe it still wasn't-- you won't know for a long time... but it doesn't much matter right now I suppose.

Why don't you just call up (or better, go out with) the Math Teacher and tell him straight up that you like him but you're still working through the end of your last relationship which is why your desire to date comes and goes. No harm in being honest, if he really likes you he'll be patient.

freckledk said...

I agree with IntrigueMe; just tell the guy you need to go at your own pace, and make sure that he sticks to that pace. It's not a relationship, it's dating. You're allowed to be a tortoise.

Oh, and I bailed on my weekend date as well, citing exhaustion. Twinsies!

J said...

Staying in sounds like it was def the right choice- sometimes a girl just needs to chill the F out and not worry about anything but herself. It's not lame at all!

I think the Math Teacher sounds sweet and into you- nothing wrong with seeing what happens with him and having a little fun. I def think taking it slow is the way to go, though. It never hurts in any situation, esp. in one where you're still recovering from the last relationship.

Betsy said...

My family and I have always said- you always need to have a vacation planned. Be it 2 months away, or 9 months away, it will always give you something to look forward to. Reward yourself after this hellish project! And a little single lady vacay never hurt anyone trying to get over a love.

Rachel said...

I'm gonna agree with Andy here. What is there to figure out? You're not ready to date yet. It's been about a millisecond in break-up terms and you can't be expected to get back on the horse so soon.

If this guy really likes you, he'll like you in a few months. In which case, you need to tell him that. Tell him that you like him, and you'd like to date him, but that right now, it's only going to be a rebound and he (and you) deserve better than that. You'd basically be dooming anything that might develop if you started anything now, whereas if you wait until you're not in love with David anymore, you might have a shot with Math Teacher. You don't have to be totally over David, but you need to not be in love with him if you want to be dating again. I say take a break, and if Math Teacher can't handle it, you don't want to be with him in the first place.

What kind of guy would want to seriously be a rebound anyway?

suicide_blond said...

if sweats and netflix are lame...then im the lamest....but i think it is more "taking care of yourself" sometimes we just need personal space...and im the biggest advocate of that... when youre READY to go'll have/be much more fun..

Storm. Kat Storm. said...

I find that if a guy likes you even when you're lame, he's a keeper.

I'd say, if you haven't all ready, explain to him the situation. Tell him what's going on with you, the post-david mess.

If he's willing to wait, and you're willing to try (when you feel up to it, not before), then try it THEN. Who knows... maybe you'll be over it soon... but if not, don't worry.

Anonymous said...

Bad question but I'm going to ask this anyways. Why do you call this dating? Cancelling would be poor form if you were in fact dating him. But this, right here, isn't really dating is it?

D said...

You need to give yourself a break! I BIG break! There's nothing wrong with staying in on a Friday night and watching a British series alone. Just let yourself be.

There's no way you're going to go down a straight path here. You'll go on dates, have feelings and then still love and miss David but then date more and then stay in. And it's the big messy up and down path but it's what's next. Just let it happen and don't feel like you need to answer all your questions right away. Just give yourself time. And pick out good wine.

I suggest 'Spaced Out' with Simon Pegg by the way :)

Susanlee said...

I dunno, I like the Math Teacher. He seems more...real and genuine than David. I agree, props for the texting and there is nothing geeky about staying in and watching British televison. I've spent entire weekends with Dr. Who.

I don't think there's anything weird about the "figure you out" comment either. I'm sure he's just wanting some friendly input on whether you're ready to date or not, because he likes you, and he wants the best thing for this fledgling relationship.

Toddy said...

Susanlee- you are only allowed to say David if you put a Fuck in front of it FuckinDavid or FuckDavid or simply Fuckface will do. These are the rules. I don't make them I just say them.