"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Day 15 Requirement: 3 miles = NOT COMPLETED
Day 16 Requirement: 4 miles = NOT COMPLETED
Day 17 Requirement: 3 miles = NOT COMPLETED
Day 18 Requirement: Rest = COMPLETED IN SPADES (by drinking myself into oblivion)
Day 19 Requirement: 5 miles = COMPLETED 4 MILES (3 miles jogged/1mile walked)
Day 20 Requirement: Cross-training = COMPLETED (if you count leisurely swimming in the lake, throwing a sack for cornhole and tossing ping pong balls as light exercise)
Day 21 Requirement: REST = NOT SURE: I spent all day competing in a "Beerlympics" tournament involving quarters, card games, dizzy bat, beer pong, and other drinking games and relay races. Does this count as resting or is this just exhausting myself?
Day 22 Requirement: 3 miles = NOT COMPLETED as I was completely hungover and stuck in a car on my ride home.
BOTTOM LINE: I WAS BASICALLY A WASTED WASTE OF SPACE FOR A WEEK. TRAINING TOOK A BACK SEAT TO LOTS AND LOTS AND LETS FACE IT -- LOTS-- OF CHEAP BEER. I STILL FEEL DRUNK, WHAT WAS I SAYING??
Um, yeah, so I drink waaaaaaaaaaaay too much. I know it. You know it. My mother definitely knows it. She calls me an alcoholic all the time. I usually say I'm just a 20-something single person having a good time and enjoying myself when I can, but after the debauchery I partook of this past week at a cottage on Lake Ontario in upstate New York, well, yeah I'm an f-in alcoholic. Sorry liver.
What does this have to do with running? Everything. Because if you succeed in drinking and partying enough, you eventually will NOT SUCCEED in your running goals. Which is my story. Which I am not proud of. But perhaps not completely regretful of either.
So I went on vacation. So lots of true athletes and people in great shape and totally committed to their running would have made it happen. I know. I know. I really do know. But we would wake up and start drinking and swimming and playing and eating and...it never really stopped until the wee hours of the morning continuing to drink around a campfire. It truth. It was awesome. Really, really awesomely awesome. I didn't deserve to have this much fun. I shouldn't have had this much fun. I shouldn't have abandoned my running. But you only live once right?
Despite the Bacchanalian retreat, I did manage to go out on 1 of my 4 required runs and at least it was the longest required run. I was supposed to run 5 miles but instead I ran about 4. Along an endless dusty access road to all the lakefront houses. With grass on one side and little cottages and the lake on the other. It was beautiful. And all looked the same. On my way back I couldn't remember exactly where the entrance to my cottage was and feared I'd be out walking in the hot sun indefinitely. As it were, I made it back and made a beeline straight for the cooler and popped open a beer. Hey...I'll sober up when I'm dead. So get a little crazy and if you can still manage it at least 1 out of 4 times...
Come Run With Me.