Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Naked Running

Clever video of a Nike shoe ad involving naked runners at a nudist running camp. Which begs the question...would anyone ever do this?

I couldn't run completely naked myself because I have to wear sports bras to keep my DDD boobs in place. But what if I didn't need to?

No...I still wouldn't. I'm not an ugly person standing still. But I am an UGLY FUGLY runner. I once saw a picture of myself taken at an 8k race in Virginia Beach during their Shamrock Fest runs on St. Patrick's Day. I looked like a wildebeast chasing its prey in slow-mo. I really couldn't believe I was that hideous. So yeah, I'm an ugly runner with clothes on. I can only imagine without clothes on.

On the other hand, it does get really hot with clothes on sometimes. Sports bras, hats, shirts. If I had an amazing body I would def be one of those girls that takes her shirt off mid-run through and folds it perfectly and sticks it in the back of my shorts. Personally, I don't think you should run in a skimpy outfit unless you have the bod to pull it off. I don't care if you are 20 pounds skinnier than me, if your stomach fat is still extensive enough to be girating down the street towards me -- its inappropriate --and you should refrain from such lack of attire. After all, we live within the conservative-esque confines of the District's civilization. Not a nudist camp.

Speaking of nudity, I went to see the Vibrator Play at the Woolly Mammoth Theatre last night. The theatre company's motto is "Defy Convention" and boy did they ever. They were doing one of their "Pay What You Can" shows where you wait in line for an hour or so and then you pay what you can for an otherwise $40-$80 ticket. I paid $5 which is pretty sweet so I really can't complain about anything I witnessed, nor am I offended by nudity besides. The play was about the origins of the vibrators back in the days when they were used as medical devices performing electric massage therapy to cure women patients with "hysteria" whatever that means. There were a lot of fake orgasms and a naked man at the end with I'm sorry to say the smallest penis I've ever seen. The show was specified as for only ages 16 and up but I'm surprised there wasn't an additional notification to the public that announced there would be full frontal male nudity. I know its "art" after all but some people are offended by nudity more than others. Makes me want to be European, particularly Dutch, and have Americans finally get over all this sexual prudishness and just be comfortable with it all.

I could talk about nudity all day couldn't you? But I'll finish by promising that I'm about to head out on my required Week 9-- 3 mile --Tuesday run mostly so I can look better naked. Look, we all need to find motivation somewhere.

1 comment:

Mich said...

Such a strange coincidence, I was at a Burlesque show last night and one of the acts was a singer and comedienne and she also spoke about the whole 'hysteria' thing.

I'm not a runner, but I know I would not look good doing it, regardless of whether my wobbly bits are on show lol