OKAY...SO...YEAH...UM...
I'm pretty sure I was a complete crazy bitch yesterday freaking out about my post and some of the comments.
Look...I wrote something that made me feel really VULNERABLE and EXPOSED. Which is a good thing. It is. It means I wrote something truthful and hard.
I just didn't want anyone to tell me I was crazy or to relax or to take things slow. But I have promised I would never censor my readership or my comments. And I never have. When you write a comment, whatever it says, it stays up. If you write:
"YOU ARE A STUPID, CRAZY BITCH AND I HATE YOU AND THINK YOUR WRITING STINKS OF DOG POO POO..."
Then I am going to leave it up there. Promise.
You have a right to react to my writing the way you want and to say what you want. Give whatever advice or criticism (constructive or otherwise) and I want to hear it and I should hear it and I will hear it.
So basically, while Mr. U is pretty near perfect, I have never come even close to implying that I am. I am EMOTIONAL and TEMPERAMENTAL and ENERGETIC and FEISTY and SARCASTIC. I am MESSY and I get ANGRY and I'm INTROSPECTIVE and a little bit LOONY. or maybe a lot LOONY.
I am not perfect. I fuck up. I overreact. I can be too sensitive. I can get irate for no reason.
I think what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry. Sorry to Megan, sorry to my readers, sorry to myself. Please keep reading. Please keep commenting. But just keep in mind that I'm a real person on the other side of these stories. With really feelings. Trying to bare my soul here - in order to better it - and my life and to enjoy it more - through interacting with all of you.
Forgive me????
....T
10 comments:
Nonsense! You were putting to page the inner dialogue many of us have when meeting someone we really, really, REALLY like. Don't be so hard on yourself, Dollface - it's allllll good!
No need for apologies my dear...I swear, we have all likely gone through this type of reaction at one point or another in reaction to specific commments or reactions to posts. It's normal. I swear :)
As the prime offender, please know it was not my intention at all to hurt your feelings, and I feel horrible that that was the result. I tend to be direct - perhaps too much so - in my communications, and I guess it can be misconstrued as harshness or criticism.
The early stages of a relationship can be emotionally brutal with the uncertainty and the AAAAH! WHERE IS THIS GOING??? and on and on. Believe me, I've been there, and I had to be talked off the ledge plenty. I always found that it helped to step back and recognize and purposefully appreciate the other people and interests in my life that made me happy.
That's all I was trying to say. And I will now shut up. :)
nobody expects you to be perfect.. none of us are.. and you certainly dont need to apologize ..its your space...
but as a commenter...
we were trying only to respond to your honesty ...with a bit of our own...if it was hurtful in any way...know that it wasnt intended to be anything but encouraging..
xoxo
Mr. U's not perfect. Neither are you. You're human. Welcome to the club. :-)
And really, this is your place. Do and say what you feel.
I think you hit it pretty well with all of this. This is a communication jungle with very few formal rules. Even the ones people put on sites are usually treated only as guidelines.
Facebook used to be the wild west of social communication (maybe MySpace really was?) but that started scaring people away and then rules were put into place. Monitors come along and things become more regulated but in a sort of secretive fashion (only because their methods of informing us are usually wrapped up in a lot of senseless quasi-legalese). Now it's the site where you put up a farce of who you really are (unless you're really that boring).
This blog has been entertaining and I like the pace of the writing. Of course we can all be critical of something. Not every episode of "Two and Half Men" is a smash hit. But drawing from an insight made on another TV show, writing always exposes the inner workings of that writer's mind. The same could be said of comments made on your site.
Having said that, we all struggle with putting our thoughts into words that accurately relate them to other people. But even as foreign languages rarely translate well into each other, our personal experiences create a barrier that makes even a common language only an imperfect medium to communicate the sum of that collection of synapses from where we've created a single thought.
You've got a connected audience. We're cheering for you because we comment and critique. I don't think anyone (aside from jealous ranting) wishes to see you fail in any of this. We cringe with you because we've been there. Other times we wonder why or how you could do what you do because we're trying to relate but failing to make an assertion that you've already made.
Your apology isn't necessary to us but I suppose it's necessary for you. Thank you for it because it gives us another picture into the person you are. Although you may seem caught up in the frenzy of your life, you still care about those who read your blog. It's nice to know that you care about us. I hope you see that we care about you too.
You're not crazy. In fact, I am going to choose to think that you're normal since I've gone through the same things :) Your blog is quick becoming a favorite of mine- please keep writing and good luck sorting through all of this!
kat
you're hardly crazy. You're human. We've all got flaws, and trust me, unless there's some dead body in a steamer trunk in a storage unit you procured in Arizona, under a false name, you're not nearly as bad as you're making yourself out to be.
Remember this one simple thing:
Life is Beautiful.
You do you, and do it to the fullest, make mistakes, be "crazy". Throw tantrums. Laugh. Cry. *LOVE*. But never, ever, EVER think you have to apologize for any of it to a bunch of peeps on the internet.
Girl, I step away for a few days and you have a metl down on me. Breathe. Easier said than done. I know. When someone leaves you feeling attacked it's difficult. But you're normal. With stories to share that we can relate too. No need to apologize.
Yeah, negative comments suck. Nothing for it....
...except maybe a glass of excellent bourbon.
I was looking around for a post where you explain your favorite, but there doesn't seem to be one. *frown*
Anyway, chin-up. You're awesome.
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